“You will have things you’ve made and holding these things in your hand will make your heart swell.” Adam Gnade from The DIY Guide To Fighting The Big Motherfuckin’ Sad
I go back to this quote a lot when I’m making something, but it applies to everything. It means my heart is working. I lead with my heart, always. Things might take longer, and it can feel isolating, but I always feel alive and have never regretted decisions I’ve made with my heart.
The 3 of you who read my previous post might remember that at the beginning of the year I decided I wouldn’t be sourcing any new materials, only using salvaged and found materials in my studio. It gave me a chance to look at everything I had accumulated over the years and allow them to become what they needed to become. I’ve tried making clothes in the past with mixed results. But I had an idea for a jacket floating around my head and felt like I needed time to flesh it out, so with nothing but time I took the leap.
Things rarely work out the first time around, but the first jacket I made turned out better than expected. I say I came into bag making accidentally, and have loved where it’s taken me, but making this jacket was a different thing entirely. It’s everything that I loved about drawing, and everything I love about running- getting completely caught up and lost in what you’re doing. When I finished it, I wept. Anyone who’s ever made anything will understand. I put it on and it felt like a hug. Using old, worn out materials, piecing them together like a patchwork quilt, letting the deconstructed garments they came from orient me in the new direction they want to be positioned is slow, thoughtful work that requires all of me and I love it.
So things are not going to be the same here, and I’m sure you’ll still see bags, but you’re going to see more of this work, too. It’s everything I never knew I needed to make. But it’s also making dolls who are your friends, it’s buying your first thrifted shirt, it’s zine making, it’s late 80s DIY skate punk vids, it’s French women on aging, it’s Japanese architecture, it’s running in the woods, it’s leaving everything behind, it’s drawing with your non-dominant hand, it’s saying yes and I don’t know.